Picky Eater… or Typical Toddler? Tips to Handle a Choosy Eater

April 19, 2023 Children

Tips To Handle A Choosy Eater

Handing a peeled apple slice to her mother, two-year-old Amelia demanded, “Cut it!” This active, apple-loving toddler then began shrieking, “Cut it! Cut it!” Amelia’s mom noticed a speck of peel and removed it with a smile. “Woops, missed some!” she said and gave the slice back to Amelia — who happily took a bite.

Amelia used to eat apples with peels, but recently, she’s been inspecting her food, refusing to eat stew unless the potatoes and carrots are separated, and rejecting foods she once loved.

Amelia is more choosy than her brother was at this age, with stronger opinions about how and what she eats. While sometimes frustrating, Amelia’s reactions are normal for many toddlers.

One in three parents describe their preschooler as “picky,” a phase that can start as early as 15 months and last through preschool.

Why does it happen?

Your toddler isn’t growing as fast and may start eating much less. One bite of banana and half a cracker might be enough at one sitting. They’ll make up for it at another meal or snack. (Bigger appetites are okay too.)
They may not know the words to use to explain to you what they want, which may frustrate them.
They want to do it themselves and are learning the power of “no!” They might fight putting on their shoes, brushing their teeth or eating the carrots you offer to them.
They may eat just one or two foods from what is offered: all fruit one meal, mostly pasta another. (Hint: nutrition adds up; consider what they eat over a few days.)

Talk to your doctor if you worry about growth, struggle with mealtimes or if:

Your child is “falling off” their usual growth curve or they are losing weight.
They gag and seem upset by eating, or chokes and vomits.
They are not able to chew or mash solid foods with their molars (teeth) and gums by about 15 months (later if they were born early).
They get very upset around new foods and are not able to calm themselves down.

DO NOT

Force a child to eat

Label your child as “picky”

Give up on them or any foods

How to Handle Typical Toddler Eating Challenges:

THEY: Throw food you put on their plate.

You: Serve family-style: Put small bowls or plates out with a few choices so they can serve themselves (you can help). Throwing food may mean they are full, or done eating. Help them use their words.

THEY: Turn away when you try to feed them.

You: Follow the Division of Responsibility. That means you choose what foods to serve, when and where, and they decide how much to eat from what you offer. Let them feed themselves with their fingers, and play with and safely explore food and utensils.

THEY: Aren’t hungry at meals, but wants to nibble on crackers all day.

You: Offer balanced meals and snacks about every 2-3 hours (and water in between). This helps them eat the right amount and be more likely to try new foods. Eat together, so they see you enjoy the foods you want them to learn to eat.

THEY: Say they don’t like strawberries anymore.

You: Say, “You don’t have to eat anything you don’t want to,” and serve them different ways: strawberries in smoothies, with a yogurt dip, cut in half, frozen or freeze-dried. Keep serving small amounts of the foods, even if they “don’t like them” today.