Wyoming WIC

Understanding Your Toddler

Tips for Making or Changing Routines

What is a routine?

  • A routine is an activity with steps that are done in the same order over and over.
  • A routine is not a schedule. The order of the steps is what is important, not the time of day.
Toddlers memorize routines and create scripts in their minds.
  • Your toddler makes scripts in his mind based on the routines in his life. His scripts are like movie scripts. One scene follows the next. He uses these scripts to predict what will happen.
  • Knowing what will happen next helps him feel safe and secure. When things do not happen the way he expects, he may get frustrated or upset.
  • Sometimes, he may memorize activities that you did not plan to be routines.
You are in charge of your toddler’s scripts!
  • You can use routines to help your toddler be calm and cooperative.
  • You can choose the steps that work best for you and your family.
  • When you follow a routine, your toddler will create a script in his mind.
  • Routines work for many daily activities. For example, mealtime, diaper changes, and bedtime.

Making a new routine is easy!

Choose a few steps for your routine. Keep it simple!

Do the same steps in the same order each time. It is important to be consistent.

Be patient! It will take time for your toddler to memorize the steps and create his new script.

Here is an example of a routine
for starting at a new daycare.

  1. Walk to the car while singing a favorite song.
  2. Put him in the car seat and drive to the daycare.
  3. After arriving, take him out of the car. Hold hands while walking in together.
  4. Hug and say a fun rhyming phrase before you walk out of the daycare.

As he goes through these same steps over and over, he will create a script. He will learn that these steps end with him staying at the daycare. Knowing what to expect may be all he needs to be calm as you are leaving.

Changing a routine

To change an existing routine:

  1. Change the first step. The first step needs to be very different.
  2. Make changes to all of the remaining steps; change order, add or remove steps.
  3. Follow the new routine consistently and be patient.

Here is an example:

Changing from a bottle to a cup can be frustrating. Toddlers often get upset when they expect a bottle but get a cup instead. A new routine can help.

Before you begin, you may want to move his high chair to a different place. You can also store the cups in a different place than the bottles.

OLD ROUTINE

  1. Get out the bottle and set it on the counter.
  2. Get the milk out and put it in the bottle near the refrigerator.
  3. Pick him up and take both the bottle and your toddler to the sofa.
  4. Hold him and feed him the bottle.

NEW ROUTINE

  1. Put him in his high chair. Talk to him about his cup.
  2. Get the cup out and set it on the counter, away from the refrigerator.
  3. Get the milk out and walk it over to the cup. Pour the milk in the cup.
  4. Bring the cup to his high chair and talk to him while he drinks.

After he sees the new routine several times, he will no longer expect the bottle. He will be more likely to take the cup without getting upset.

Tips for Helping Your
Toddler Sleep

Your toddler sleeps more at night than she did when she was younger. Still, bedtime is not always easy. A relaxing bedtime routine can help her go to sleep and stay asleep.

How to Create a Bedtime Routine

Choose Simple Steps: Some of the things you already do can be part of your routine.

Be Consistent: Do the same steps in the same order every time.

Be Patient: Allow time for your toddler to learn the routine.

Tips to Remember:

  • A routine is not a schedule. A bedtime routine can be done at any time. It is the order of the steps that is important, not the time on the clock.
  • Begin your routine when your child shows you she is tired by yawning or rubbing her eyes.
  • The routine does not have to be long. Choose the steps that work best for your family!
  • Your toddler will learn the routine in about 1–2 weeks.
  • Remove distractions, such as screens, lights, and noises, to help your toddler calm down easier.

Here is an example of a simple bedtime routine

Just remember these words: Bath-Book-Bed

BATH: Start her bedtime routine with a nice warm bath. Or, you can wash her face and brush her teeth. Keep things quiet and calm so she knows it is almost bedtime.

BOOK: Read her a book, tell her a story, or sing her a song. Do not play exciting games or let her run and play. You are slowly calming her down so that she becomes sleepy.
BED: When she is very drowsy, end the routine by putting her in her bed. Say goodnight by rubbing her back or singing calming words over and over.

Night Waking

Sometimes, your toddler may wake up more often than you expect. Her sleep is still changing. At her age, waking is usually temporary. She is less likely to wake because she is hungry. Here are some tips to help her sleep better.

Tips to Remember:

Being excited and playing at bedtime can make it harder for her to go to sleep and to stay asleep. Use a routine to help her relax.

Give your toddler lots of practice with new skills during the day. When she masters the skill, she will not wake as often.

Flashing lights and sounds are very exciting to your toddler. Turn off screens and electronics with lights and sounds from the room where she sleeps.

Your toddler may wake more often when sleeping in a new or different place. It might help to keep familiar objects close by. You can use your bedtime routine, but she may wake up anyway. She will sleep longer when you get home or when she gets used to the new place.

Your toddler may wake more often when her routine changes. She will sleep longer again when she learns the new routine.

Your toddler will wake when she is sick or uncomfortable. She will sleep longer when she feels better. Check with your health care professional if you are worried.

When your toddler wakes up in the middle of the night, use a routine to help her back to sleep. Using the same routine each time will help her know what to expect. Over time, she will fall back to sleep more quickly.

Tips to Cope with Crying Toddlers

CRYING

Your toddler is learning to communicate better every day. She still cries, but less often than when she was younger. When she cries, she is telling you that she needs your help.

Toddlers cry for many reasons. They may cry when they:

  • Want things they cannot have
  • Are not able to tell you what they want or need
  • Cannot always move around like they want to
  • Want to do more on their own, but still need help
  • Get overwhelmed, tired, uncomfortable, afraid, sad, or frustrated

As a parent, you want your toddler to be calm and happy. When she is crying, your toddler will need a little help to calm down. You can find the best ways to help her.

Here are some ways to help your toddler stay calm:

Respond to her quickly.

Use distraction to take her attention away from something she cannot do.
Talk to her about things that interest her.
Give her time to move and play in safe places throughout the day.
Help her practice using her fingers by letting her pick up safe foods and toys.
Use routines to make daily activities go more smoothly.

Tantrums

Between 18 months and 3 years, children sometimes have tantrums. Your toddler’s brain is still developing. When she is very upset, she cannot control her emotions. Once a tantrum starts, your toddler really cannot control herself. She will need your help to calm her down.

For most children, there are 2 types of tantrums:

Shorter Tantrums

  • Include crying and one other behavior, such as stomping or dropping to the floor
  • Last 1 to 3 minutes
  • May end with just a little help from you
Longer Tantrums
  • Include crying and 2 or more behaviors like stomping, dropping to the floor, kicking, hitting, and biting
  • Last longer than 3 minutes
  • Are too intense for toddlers to stop on their own
  • Can be dangerous — you will need to keep your toddler safe

What can you do?

  • Respond early to your toddler’s needs. She is more likely to have a tantrum when she is tired or uncomfortable. You can prevent some, but not all tantrums.
  • Watch her closely, even if she is calming herself down.
  • Protect your toddler from hurting herself during a tantrum. After a few minutes she will feel sad and turn to you for comfort.
  • Keep your voice calm and your face relaxed.
  • Be patient. She will not have tantrums every day. She will have a better control over her emotions by about 3 or 4 years of age.

Adapted with permission from California WIC and UC Davis Human Lactation Center:

Understand Your Toddler: Tips for Making or Changing Routines. Accessed February 20, 2025. https://docs.wic.ca.gov/Content/Documents/NutritionHealth/Toddler/TOTTS-Routines.pdf
Understand Your Toddler: Tips for Helping Your Toddler Sleep. Accessed February 20, 2025. https://docs.wic.ca.gov/Content/Documents/NutritionHealth/Toddler/TOTTS-Sleep.pdf
Understand Your Toddler: Tips to Cope with Crying Toddlers. Accessed February 20, 2025. https://docs.wic.ca.gov/Content/Documents/NutritionHealth/Toddler/TOTTS-Crying.pdf

Install this web app on your iPhone: tap ios-share and then Add to Home Screen.

SIDE-LYING HOLD

Side-Lying Hold

  1. For the right breast, lie on your right side with your baby facing you.
  2. Pull your baby close. Your baby’s mouth should be level with your nipple.
  3. In this position, you can cradle your baby’s back with your left arm and support yourself with your right arm and/or pillows.
  4. Keep loose clothing and bedding away from your baby.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • You had a C-section
  • You want to rest while baby feeds
  • You are breastfeeding in the middle of the night
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
CROSS-CRADLE HOLD

Cross-Cradle Hold

  1. For the right breast, use your left arm to hold your baby’s head at your right breast and baby’s body toward your left side. A pillow across your lap can help support your left arm.
  2. Gently place your left hand behind your baby’s ears and neck, with your thumb and index finger behind each ear and your palm between baby’s shoulder blades. Turn your baby’s body toward yours so your tummies are touching.
  3. Hold your breast as if you are squeezing a sandwich. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
  4. As your baby’s mouth opens, push gently with your left palm on baby’s head to help them latch on. Make sure you keep your fingers out of the way.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • Your baby is premature
  • Your baby has a weak suck
  • Your baby needs help to stay latched
  • Your baby needs extra head support
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
CLUTCH OR “FOOTBALL” HOLD

Clutch or “Football” Hold

  1. For the right breast, hold your baby level, facing up, at your right side.
  2. Put your baby’s head near your right nipple and support their back and legs under your right arm.
  3. Hold the base of your baby’s head with your right palm. A pillow underneath your right arm can help support your baby’s weight.
  4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Bring baby to you instead.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • You had a C-section
  • You have large breasts
  • You have flat or inverted nipples
  • You have a strong milk let-down
  • You are breastfeeding twins
  • Your baby likes to feed in an upright position
  • Your baby has reflux
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
CRADLE HOLD

Cradle Hold

  1. For the right breast, cradle your baby with your right arm. Your baby will be on their left side across your lap, facing you at nipple level.
  2. Your baby’s head will rest on your right forearm with your baby’s back along your inner arm and palm.
  3. Turn your baby’s tummy toward your tummy. Your left hand is free to support your breast, if needed. Pillows can help support your arm and elbow.
  4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • Your baby needs help latching on
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
Laid-Back Hold

Laid-Back Hold

  1. Lean back on a pillow with your baby’s tummy touching yours and their head at breast level. Some moms find that sitting up nearly straight works well. Others prefer to lean back and lie almost flat.
  2. You can place your baby’s cheek near your breast, or you may want to use one hand to hold your breast near your baby. It’s up to you and what you think feels best.
  3. Your baby will naturally find your nipple, latch, and begin to suckle.

This hold is useful when:

  • Your baby is placed on your chest right after birth
  • You have a strong milk let-down
  • You have large breasts
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position