Wyoming WIC

Unlocking Food Freedom: A Guide to Stress-Free Eating for Adults

Unlocking Food Freedom A Guide to Stress-Free Eating for Adults-english-QR-code

Your Eating Shapes Your Child’s Eating

When raising a family, it is good for everyone to be free of stress and worry, when it comes to what and how much they eat.
This guide will help you learn how to feel good about eating so you can feed your family the best way! After all, YOUR relationship with food matters because when you trust yourself with eating, it becomes easy to trust your child with their eating, too.

What is Eating Competence?

The phrase “eating competence” emerged from years of work by Ellyn Satter to describe a positive and relaxed relationship with food and eating. It’s about trusting your body and truly enjoying what and how you eat.

Becoming a “competent eater” means you:

  • Feel good about eating. You enjoy food and feel comfortable eating with others. Eating can be something you look forward to, not something you dread.
  • Are interested in different foods. You can try new foods and also enjoy the familiar foods you love.
  • Eat until you are satisfied by listening to your body’s signals for hunger and fullness.
  • Feed yourself regularly and reliably. You make feeding yourself a priority because it feels good.

Why Competent Eating?

Ellyn Satter’s research found that adults who are comfortable and flexible with eating:

  • Do better nutritionally by eating more fruits, vegetables, and whole grains and less salt, fat, and sugar
  • Tend to have better overall health
  • Are more active
  • Sleep better
  • Feel less stress and worry
  • Have stable body weight and are more accepting of their own body

Tip!

Today, many messages about food can make eating feel difficult. The good news is that you don’t need to follow strict lists of “dos” and “don’ts.” Instead, focus on trusting yourself and enjoying your food.

Keys to Joyful Eating

There are two main ideas to remember to become a competent eater:

1

Feed yourself faithfully:

This means making sure you eat regularly and eat food you truly enjoy.

  • Take the time to sit down and eat your meals and snacks.
  • Create a meal and snack routine that works for you.
  • Include foods you truly love. Don’t let ideas about “good” or “bad” foods spoil your eating.

2

Give yourself permission to eat:

This means telling yourself, “It’s all right to eat this. I just need to pay attention while I eat”.

  • If you don’t love it, don’t eat it. Your body needs different foods, and your spirit needs pleasure from eating.

Learning and Practice

When you practice feeding yourself faithfully and giving yourself permission to eat, you will learn to be relaxed, trust yourself, and feel joyful about eating. There’s no single “right” way to eat every day. The best and most normal approach to food is one that adapts to your life—including your hunger, your schedule, what’s easy to get, and even your emotions. Eating should be a source of joy, not stress.

Reassure yourself, you will be fed:

  • Start your day with a plan for when and how you will eat. Aim for regular meals and snacks, but be flexible and do your best. It takes time for new routines to feel normal.

Give yourself permission to eat all food:

  • Be thankful for all food; it gives your body energy and nutrients.
  • Enjoy your food! All foods, including those with added sugar or fat, can be part of a balanced diet and provide energy and pleasure.
  • Don’t be afraid to include foods you’ve previously restricted or foods often labeled as “bad” in your meals and snacks. The more you allow yourself to eat them, the less likely you will feel out of control around them.

Respect your body’s hunger and fullness signals:

  • Eat when you are hungry, and stop eating when you are satisfied. It can take practice to learn what this feels like for you.
  • As you learn to trust your body and recognize what helps your body feel good, you’ll naturally have more variety in what you eat.
  • Eat enough to feel satiety (suh·tai·uh·tee). Satiety is the sweet spot for fullness. It means being fully satisfied! It’s like Goldilocks’ chair that was “just right.” Your body is smart and knows how much it needs. Learning to listen to your body is the key.

Learn how to listen to your body by using a scale like the one below:

Hunger Scale:

Feeling that might relate to your individual hunger or fullness:
1 Starving, light-headed, stomach hurts
2 Very hungry, stomach growling
3 Hungry, ready to eat
4 Slightly hungry, thinking about food
5 Neutral, not hungry, not full
6 Slightly satisfied
7 Satiety, comfortably full or fully satisfied
8 Full, a little uncomfortable
9 Very full, bloated
10 Stuffed, sick

How to Use the Hunger Scale:

Before you eat, check in with yourself and identify your hunger level on the scale. As you eat, periodically check in to see how your fullness level is changing. The goal is to start eating around a 3 or 4 and stop around a 6 or 7.

Steps:

1. Identify Hunger Signals:

Pay attention to how your body feels when you are genuinely hungry.
Does your stomach growl? Do you feel light-headed? Do you get irritable?
List these specific sensations.

2. Identify Fullness Signals:

Similarly, note what it feels like when you are comfortably full.
Do you feel content? Is your stomach no longer empty but not heavy?
Do you feel energized?

3. Identify Overfullness Signals:

What happens when you eat too much?
Do you feel bloated, sluggish, or nauseous?

4. Assign Levels:

Create 3-5 levels (e.g., Very Hungry, Moderately Hungry, Neutral, Satisfied, Stuffed) and describe the unique sensations you experience at each level.

2. Identify Fullness Signals:

Similarly, note what it feels like when you are comfortably full.
Do you feel content? Is your stomach no longer empty but not heavy?
Do you feel energized?

4. Assign Levels:

Create 3-5 levels (e.g., Very Hungry, Moderately Hungry, Neutral, Satisfied, Stuffed) and describe the unique sensations you experience at each level.

Example on a personal level:

“My Stomach is Empty”

Stomach feels hollow, with a slight rumble.

“Comfortably Full”

My jeans still feel comfortable, and I feel energetic and content.

Remember!

You can begin to practice tuning into your body’s signals, which is a key part of eating competence and joyful eating. It takes time and practice to become familiar with your unique hunger and fullness cues.

Be Mindful With Food

This means paying attention to what you are eating and how it feels in your body.

Relax:

Before you eat, take a breath and tell yourself, “It’s all right to eat, I just have to pay attention.” Do this for a few bites at first; as you get more comfortable, you can pay attention longer.

Tune in to your food:

Look at it, smell it. What do you notice inside yourself before you take a bite?

Pay attention to your mouth:

Take a bite. How does it taste and feel?
What happens inside you as you chew?
Swallow when you feel ready. Look at the food again before your next bite.

It might take time to connect with your body’s signals of hunger and fullness. If you eat regular meals and planned snacks in place of grazing (frequent unplanned snacks), your body will get used to your eating pattern, and you will notice your hunger and fullness signals more clearly.

Trust Your Body to Eat What is Good for You

When you first start trusting yourself with eating, you might eat a lot of the same foods, especially those you previously avoided. That’s perfectly fine!

It takes time to feel truly comfortable with these foods. Over time, you will naturally want to try more variety.

Avoid Food Rules

Many messages about food can make you feel guilty or anxious. Rules like “eat this, don’t eat that” or trying to “detox” can take away the joy of eating.

Even official dietary guidelines, which aim to help, can sometimes become rigid rules. You don’t need rules to eat the food you need. Trust yourself to eat what and how much you need. You can learn to accept a broader range of foods naturally.

Be careful of messages that seem helpful but are actually controlling:

Messages that harm:
Messages that give permission:
Drink water before eating to feel fuller and only use small plates. Tell yourself you will get enough to eat and eat until satisfied.
Don’t buy “fattening” and “tempting” foods. Stock your pantry with food you enjoy.
Eat sweets in small amounts. Savor sweets until you’ve had your fill.
Make half your plate fruits and vegetables. Serve foods you and your family like at meals and snacks.
Control your portions. Don’t eat too much. Eat as much as it takes to feel comfortably full.
Chew every bite slowly. Pay attention to your food.
Avoid added or extra sugar, salt, and fat. Use sugar, salt, and fat to make food tasty.
Cut cheese and chocolate into small pieces. Savor cheese and chocolate.
Don’t eat at buffets. Listen to and trust your body at buffets.
Don’t have seconds. Eat as much as you are hungry for.

Food and Feelings

It’s natural to use food for comfort or to celebrate.
Eating with friends, cooking, or eating alone can make you feel better when you are sad, worried, or upset. When you do this mindfully (with care and thought), it can be a way to cope.

“Abusing emotional eating” happens when you eat without paying attention or truly tasting your food. This can make you feel empty, bad about yourself, or out of control. Instead, try to be aware of your feelings and choose to use food in a way that truly helps you.

Wyoming WIC and Eating Competence

Talk to WIC for support in becoming a confident and joyful eater so that you can feed your child in the best way possible.

For more on Satter’s Becoming Eating Competent, click below:

The Joy of Eating: Becoming a Competent Eater

Satter, Ellyn (2020). Feeding Yourself with Love and Good Sense. Kelcy Press.

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SIDE-LYING HOLD

Side-Lying Hold

  1. For the right breast, lie on your right side with your baby facing you.
  2. Pull your baby close. Your baby’s mouth should be level with your nipple.
  3. In this position, you can cradle your baby’s back with your left arm and support yourself with your right arm and/or pillows.
  4. Keep loose clothing and bedding away from your baby.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • You had a C-section
  • You want to rest while baby feeds
  • You are breastfeeding in the middle of the night
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
CROSS-CRADLE HOLD

Cross-Cradle Hold

  1. For the right breast, use your left arm to hold your baby’s head at your right breast and baby’s body toward your left side. A pillow across your lap can help support your left arm.
  2. Gently place your left hand behind your baby’s ears and neck, with your thumb and index finger behind each ear and your palm between baby’s shoulder blades. Turn your baby’s body toward yours so your tummies are touching.
  3. Hold your breast as if you are squeezing a sandwich. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
  4. As your baby’s mouth opens, push gently with your left palm on baby’s head to help them latch on. Make sure you keep your fingers out of the way.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • Your baby is premature
  • Your baby has a weak suck
  • Your baby needs help to stay latched
  • Your baby needs extra head support
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
CLUTCH OR “FOOTBALL” HOLD

Clutch or “Football” Hold

  1. For the right breast, hold your baby level, facing up, at your right side.
  2. Put your baby’s head near your right nipple and support their back and legs under your right arm.
  3. Hold the base of your baby’s head with your right palm. A pillow underneath your right arm can help support your baby’s weight.
  4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Bring baby to you instead.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • You had a C-section
  • You have large breasts
  • You have flat or inverted nipples
  • You have a strong milk let-down
  • You are breastfeeding twins
  • Your baby likes to feed in an upright position
  • Your baby has reflux
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
CRADLE HOLD

Cradle Hold

  1. For the right breast, cradle your baby with your right arm. Your baby will be on their left side across your lap, facing you at nipple level.
  2. Your baby’s head will rest on your right forearm with your baby’s back along your inner arm and palm.
  3. Turn your baby’s tummy toward your tummy. Your left hand is free to support your breast, if needed. Pillows can help support your arm and elbow.
  4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
  5. Reverse for the left breast.

This hold is useful when:

  • Your baby needs help latching on
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position
Laid-Back Hold

Laid-Back Hold

  1. Lean back on a pillow with your baby’s tummy touching yours and their head at breast level. Some moms find that sitting up nearly straight works well. Others prefer to lean back and lie almost flat.
  2. You can place your baby’s cheek near your breast, or you may want to use one hand to hold your breast near your baby. It’s up to you and what you think feels best.
  3. Your baby will naturally find your nipple, latch, and begin to suckle.

This hold is useful when:

  • Your baby is placed on your chest right after birth
  • You have a strong milk let-down
  • You have large breasts
  • You and your baby are comfortable in this position